Hello Reader,
I recently spoke with a client about her struggle with networking: “I want to learn how to use my network to help me find a job I love. But when I network, I feel like I’m exposing myself. I’m an introvert, and my face shows everything I’m thinking. I also never know what to say to people at conferences — it can be really overwhelming.”
If this sounds like you, I hear you.
And I promise — it gets easier. Every time you talk to someone new, you’ll learn something and grow a bit more confident.
One of my biggest personal learnings has been this:
What you believe about networking makes a huge difference.
If you treat networking like a numbers game — “I want to meet as many people as possible and make sure they remember my name” — it won’t feel good. And it won’t work in the long run.
Instead, start with genuine curiosity and appreciation. And how I can help the other person.
There are so many amazing people out there. I’ve learned something from every single person I’ve connected with — both positive and negative. Both are valuable. Overall the experiences have mostly been positive.
I now approach every conversation asking myself:
What can I learn from this person?
How can I make this moment meaningful for both of us?
And by “helping” someone, I mean:
· A warm smile
· A thoughtful question
· A comment that deepens the conversation
· Simply showing empathy
Networking doesn’t have to be a transaction.
You’re not at a market. It’s not tit-for-tat.
Be remembered for being a kind, curious human — and you’ll be surprised how easily conversations start to flow.
And if you’re thinking: “But what do I say after hello?” — try this:
🗣“What do you think of the conference so far?”
🗣“What are you looking forward to?”
These open the door to natural follow-ups.
Or simply ask:
“Want to grab a snack with me?”
(Bonding over food is one of my personal favourites.)
Want to practice? Try this:
Next time you’re out — even just at your local bakery — notice something positive about someone and start a short 3–4 sentence conversation.
You can absolutely do this.
Mareike
